Divorce |
Although marriage is valued very highly by Christians, not all marriages are happy. Misunderstandings are normal. In a successful marriage these are usually resolved, However, sometimes the husband and wife realise they are making each other so unhappy that they decide to separate.
Marriages can run into difficulty for many reasons:
The changes in law have made divorce easier. The divorce rate over the last 20 years has increased to one in three marriages. Some people blame the new laws, saying divorce is too easy and couples need to try and sort out their problems rather than giving up. Others say the law simply reflects changes in society , and that couples should be allowed to decide for themselves whether to stay married.
“I hate divorce, says the Lord.”
Malachi 2:15
In the Old Testament, divorce is allowed. If a man wanted a divorce, then he had to give the woman notice in writing. Nothing is said about women divorcing their husbands!
“ If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him….., he writes out a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house……
Deuteronomy 24:1
However, Jesus’ teaching was different. In this quote, Jesus seems very clear – 1. Marriage is for life. 2. Divorce is not allowed.
Jesus replied, “At the beginning of creation God “made them male and female”. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Anyone who divorces his wife and a marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man she commits adultery.”
Jesus in Mark 10:2-12
Jesus also said (words that are quoted in the Marriage Service):
“ Man must not separate what God has joined together”
Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9
But in Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus gives a slightly different view: a man can divorce his wife for unfaithfulness; so divorce is sometimes acceptable.
"Anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”
Jesus in Matthew 5:31-32
However, there is another view. Jesus might have allowed separation (he would not have wanted people to be unhappy!), but did not agree with people re-marrying while their husband or wife was still alive. Historically, Jesus might have been trying to protect women, because if their husbands left them, they would have nothing.
“A married woman is bound…..to her husband as long as he lives….. So then, if she lives with another man while her husband is alive, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is legally a free woman and does not commit adultery if she marries another man.”
St Paul, Romans 7:2-3
Although Jesus seems to be very firmly against remarriage, Christians believe that the Bible needs to be seen as a whole. Some Christians will refer to Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness to show that a divorced couple should be allowed a second chance with someone else. The best example to use is the woman who committed adultery and was going to be stoned. Jesus didn’t condone her actions, but he said:
" Let you who is without sin cast the first stone"
John 8:7
The difficulty with this example is that the sin (adultery) was in the past
and the woman had repented. In the passages above, Jesus treats remarriage
as a form of adultery, which is forbidden by the Ten Commandments, so while
he might allow divorce, Jesus seems to prohibit remarriage.